My couch love playing hide n seek with the remotes, smart bastard always wins too.I usually don't care what people are saying until they start whispering.
Anti-Depression Tip: Go to your local Wal-Mart and hang out by the fitting rooms. Instant "OMG I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT THEM!" happy.
If your password is your name, you deserve to be hacked.
If you send me a "send this back" text, I will send it back to you 100 times.
I really don't feel like "occasionally" stirring this
Just met one of those people that start laughing at things you said 10 minutes ago....because they just "got it"
(Glass breaks) woman: I think someones breaking in! Man: I'll take care of this (grabs a toilet brush) Woman: A toilet brush? What are you going to do scrub him to death? Man: Would you want to be touched with this?
I'm at the end of my Nerds Rope.
Dear Facebook: Stop being like my mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with.
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him.
would like to remind any unhappy souls today that St Valentine was beaten to death with clubs
If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
Bieber Fever is a lot like the chickenpox. It's healthy for kids to get it, but adults with it should seek immediate medical attention.
How people can STILL spell my name wrong when posting on my Facebook wall is mind blowing..
If swimming is great exercise, explain whales to me
This new Facebook picture viewer is really freaking me out.
Just got on email from Myspace asking "Where Have You Been?" Well Myspace, it hasn't been 2006 in awhile.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close Enough."
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
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